Paper Butterflies
by Drifting Warrior
Summary: ..."Sometimes we have to laugh to keep ourselves from crying." NejixTenten


AN: This is dedicated to my two awesome new betas who aren't afraid to tell me "What the hell is this? This is a peice of typical fanfiction-y shit!". You see, one of my betas doesn't like fanfiction, but she generiously agreed to beta for me anyways. It's a bit hard when she has no clue what the heck Naruto is about, but we work around it; my other beta knows all about the Naruto world, so ha! Anyways, enjoy!

The trees were waving, the leaves were engaged in a lively tango, and whispering clouds lounged against a parched blue sky. It was good to be back, back to the place she belonged.

After going on a year-long special mission for Tsunade-sama, Tenten was finally back in Konoha, Village Hidden in the Leaves. Her home.

She walked, no, ran past the guards and into the Hokage tower, past a cluster of whispering low-leveled Chunnin. Lay-about gossipers. Thank the gods she wasn't one of them.

"...Hyuuga..."

Tenten attempted to slow casually, her curiosity peaked.

Then she heard it again, this time from a different pair of lips. "...that Hyuuga!"

"You mean Hyuuga Neji? The one that passed jounin examinations with top scores and was promoted to ANBU about half a year ago?"

"Oh, him! Yeah, I remember him. Mmm...very good-looking, he was. A real hottie! I heard he's already with some weapons girl though." An exaggerated sigh escaped from between a pair of very feminine lips.

"She disappeared without a trace though, about a year ago," another laughed, "so you might still have a chance, Val!" One of the girls nudged the one next to her, who proceeded to flip her hair and blush lightly.

"Back to the original subject," grunted a gruff baritone, "He's been refusing all of his missions. I was supposed to be on a mission with him, but he didn't turn up. No one's seen him around for a couple of months—heard he's been hiding in the Hyuuga mansion the whole time. Locks himself in his room folding little paper butterflies all day."

"No way. Where'd you hear this?"

"That Hyuuga heir was talking to that Uzamaki kid the other day at Ir-"

Tenten turned and picked up speed again.

Neji? Folding little paper butterflies? Tenten laughed as she jogged past them. Like one of them had said, "No way". Neji hated wasting time, and he would be the last person to refuse a mission. What a load of frivolous gossip.

When she burst into the office, there was no one there. Tsunade-sama's mahogany desk was piled with papers, but there was no Tsunade behind it. Only a note attached to the door that fluttered slightly as she nudged it open.

_I have some business to attend to. Leave all reports on my desk and do not touch anything. That means YOU NARUTO! Naruto, DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING, or I will restrict you to solo D rank missions for 2 months._

Tenten decided that she could wait until later to fill out the forms. Anyways, it probably wouldn't be safe to leave them lying around on her desk. It was supposed to be classified, and no one else, not even the other shinobi, was supposed to know about it.

Besides, she had pushed herself on the return journey, so she was a day early. She was receiving her well earned break. Giddily, she pushed open the door. She couldn't wait to see how everyone was doing.

Tenten hurried to the training grounds, where her team had always practiced together. Team Gai, always together to the end.

But no one was there. Gai's house was empty, along with Lee's. Annoying. So she went to the Hyuuga's. She doubted Neji would be there; team Gai was probably on some mission, but it couldn't hurt to check anyways. If he wasn't, she could drop in on Hinata.

As they saw her head up the walkway to the front doors, the guards there waved. But it was not in greeting—more along the lines of "go away, we don't want you here".

She marched up anyways and announced that she was here to see Hyuuga Neji.

"We were ordered not to let anyone in," they recited in unison. Perfectly together, as if they had rehearsed it. Knowing them, they probably had.

"I'm his teammate," she retorted.

"Even you must not pass," they insist. "Our orders were clear: No one is allowed in."

She sighed. This was nothing new, although they were being a little more pushy than before. But she wasn't a shinobi for nothing. She bid them 'good day', turned and walked away. But as soon as she was out of sight she headed for the east courtyard, where she knew Neji's room was.

With a swift leap, she crossed the wall and dropped silently into the frozen garden. With a glance, she took in the bare trees and withered plants, and she frowned. That was strange. People could say that he was a heartless bastard, but she knew that he always took care of that little garden with the peach and plum trees, and strawberry patches.

It was dark behind the silk screen doors, but Tenten sensed movement inside. She quietly went in. She quietly went in. Neji was sitting in the corner near his desk, turning something small in his hands.At the noise he lifted his head and turned.

"Neji? Neji! Hey, it's me! I'm back!"

Even in the dusty light filtering in through the open door, Neji looked too perfect to be real. Tenten breathed in sharply at the sight of him, as she always did. The last rays of the sun caught on his perfect alabaster features and glinted in his dark hair, seeming to hang about him in a golden aura. Neji balled up his fist, crushing what she could not see was a delicate paper butterfly.

"Hey, aren't you glad to see me?" she asked, trying to sound like she was joking.

"Neji…um…are you...mad at me? It didn't mean to leave without telling you! Tsunade-sama wouldn't let me tell anyone about my mission!"

He still didn't look at her. Instead, he glared into a corner to her right, eyebrows knitting. Neji was the type to hold a grudge, but never against her. He saw, and knew, her weakness, her faults... but he'd always accepted her anyways. Until now.

Tenten grew worried. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? Seriously! I never thought that you would get so worked up," she stammered, pitch rising. Why wasn't he pleased to see her? Why didn't he greet her? Why? Why? He couldn't have moved on so fast. So why?

Silence, then, finally. "Tenten?" he reluctantly asked.

She hadn't changed that much, had she? Sure, maybe she was a little thinner, and a little more tan, but that was about it. Had he forgotten her in such a short period of time? Maybe he couldn't see her properly in the darkness. She moved to turn on the light, but stopped as his words cut her short.

"There's no need to turn on the lights. I was never afraid of the dark. There's no point in being afraid."

Now that her eyes had adjusted, she could see the bamboo boxes, stacked on upon the other, all full of... paper butterflies. Little origami paper butterflies. The kind that she had taught him to fold. On his table four more pale butterflies lay scattered, along with messy stacks of blank paper.

"Um, Neji? So... it's true that you're folding little paper butterflies?" she asked timidly, laughing nervously, then hurriedly added, "Not that you're mad, or anything, you know." Instinctively, her foot reached back and caressed the dusty floor behind her. Dusty?

He tilted his head, smirking ever so slightly--a smirk not unlike that of self-satisfied amusement. This time, Tenten couldn't see what was so funny.

"So is _that_ what they think now? Little _mad_ Neji, hiding in his room, folding origami all day long," he spat out in a maddening mock-sing-song, voice hoarse with disuse.

Again, he let out another chuckle, but he looked the closest Tenten had ever seen him to crying. (A tear trickled down his alabaster face into silk sienna hair.) What was wrong with him?

"Neji?"

"Who? Oh, him. He doesn't exist anymore." He threw back his head and laughed, climbing in pitch till it cracked like a dying rooster's. Head still tilted back, he exhaled noiselessly.

"Wh-" she began indignantly, but he but her off.

"Don't you get it, Tenten? Don't you see? Don't you _see_?" With that, brought his hand down, slamming into the table hard enough to make it shake.

She couldn't help but back away, trembling, reaching behind her back to touch a few scrolls and weapons.

This was Neji. She wasn't suppose to be afraid of Neji-kun. Neji…there was no need. How much had they been through? How many times would she have been dead if he hadn't been there, always secure and ready like a stone wall? No. This wasn't right; she shouldn't be readying for attack. No, no! This just wasn't right!

"Why aren't you laughing? Why aren't you laughing like everyone else? Isn't Neji funny? Neji is funny, right?" he crooned, "Right?" He bobbed his head vigorously, grinning with something resembling childish ferocity.

Tenten turned and ran out, slamming the door behind her, almost tripping in her haste. She didn't so much as stop to glace behind at the nightmare waiting behind those closed doors.

"Why aren't you laughing?" he screamed after her, "Why?"

They were right. He was crazy.

Behind closed doors, Neji slid down the wall with a wrenching, wet sigh. He was tired; he wanted to sleep; he couldn't stop making these little paper butterflies. Not yet. He had to finish.

She deserved someone better anyways. Why cause so much pain for a fleeting moment of ecstasy?

He kept on folding and folding. One little thing at a time. Please, please. He had to finish.

He folded. She cried. The sun hurried home and the moon lazily ascended to bask Konoha in its reverse-silver radiance.

His room was dark. Her room was dark. Everyone assumed that he was asleep. But quiet Hinata knew that he was still at his desk, folding, folding, wasting, wasting.

It was windy; gusty, strong gales played skipping stones. He finally left his room in the shadow of early night, late so that the entire village was asleep. He dragged his crates across the courtyard and through the streets, to the Hokage tower. The wind protested, yanking at his already tangled hair, but he didn't care. No one would see him anyways.

The Hokage tower stood proud and tall with it's back against the wind, facing the village, with Neji perched on the roof like one of his own butterflies. He opened crate after crate and threw out handfuls of its contents with haste, but also gentle remorse. This was it. He knew—he had overheard Tsunade consulting Haishi. There was no need to hide it from him. He was prepared.

The next morning found Tenten at the training grounds. The place—no, all of Konoha—was littered with little origami butterflies. She picked one up, examining it carefully. When she held it up to the light, she could see a faint outline of something inside. Curious, she unfolded it. Inside was a crumpled piece of paper.

_Tenten_ was all it said. There was a smaller scribble in the corner: a date, from a week ago. She picked up another one. _Where did you go?_ Nearly a year ago. _You're so far away. _And another. _I miss you._ Three months ago. _I am finally out of time. _Two weeks ago.

There were no signature, no names other than hers, but she knew who it was. I'm out of time.Oh kami. I'm out of time. No. It couldn't be true. I'm out of time.

I am out of time. I'm out of time. It echoed in her head in an endless mantra as she raced to the Hokage Tower. Oh God. Oh God. Kami, please don't let it be true. Please, please, I can't be out of time.

A vague memory of the note Tsunade had left on her door came back to her. "I have some business to attend to. Leave everything on my desk, and do not touch anything. That means YOU, Naruto." No. The pieces fit together too perfectly, creating a horrifying realization. For once, Tenten wanted everything to not make sense, never come together. No!

No one could figure out what had happened. The results from an examination didn't match with any diangosis they could find. Of course not. In a world of quick feet and quiet white eyes, everything was a secret.

The Godamie sent a request to Haishi for him to open the doors for a through examination. She received a curt denial in reply. ANBU were sent to investigate his room under the cover of night. They had found a scroll written in a messy, blotchy hand. As if the writer had been shaking while writing.

_Tenten: _

_I considered writing this to the Hokage, but it would only cause more trouble. She can't do anything. The Hyuuga hold too much power._

_All I can do is let you know before I leave. I can not determine when exactly that will be, so I will write it now, while I still can._

Leave? He was leaving? Was he going to become a missing-nin? Or had he been forced to leave?

_I don't have much time left. It was obvious that this was going to happen someday. The caged bird can escape the cage, but its wings will always be clipped._

_Someone from the main house is doing this. They intend that I die a slow and painful death—nothing sudden or too obvious._

Oh Kami, "death"?

_It started twenty-one days after you left. There were headaches and dizziness, but I hid it well enough. Such is the ability of a shinobi. Such is as he had predicted. That is, until I lost my vision._

_At this rate, I won't last long. The Hokage-sama is trying to find out what's wrong, but she has no clue as to what is going on. I must preserve the Hyuuga honor—I will not tell._

_Why did you have to leave? You could have let me know. The Hokage-sama told everyone that you had decided to take an extended vacation in the Land of Water. But I knew she was lying. _

_I tried to find out what had happened, but everyone I asked, they knew nothing. It wouldn't do to appear as if I thought the Godaime was lying. _

_Tell Naruto and Lee that I was wrong—destiny does not control everything. But some things like this can never be changed. I must live with what has already been decided. _

_This might never reach you. _

But it did.

_There is something else I think I want to tell you. Maybe, in a happier lifetime._

_There's something I wanted in a happier lifetime too, Neji._

He had been wrong. Neji had been wrong. He was right that it was someone in the main house that had been doing it, but he had been wrong to say that he would die. The Godaime managed to prevent his death—but he was as good as dead.

All that was left was a husk kept alive by machinery. "Someday he might wake up," they said, "You never know." But Tenten knew better then that. He was gone. Only a discarded shell remained to foster their crazy hopes.

Still, she visited him every day. Because. Just because. Because maybe, maybe, they were right and she was wrong.

Her days were spent between gathering up all the origami butterflies, piecing the sentences together, and haunting the hospital like an abandoned ghost.

There were times when she found herself in the training grounds, sparing with sweating Lee, supervised by an over-enthusiastic Gai, and with Neji standing in the shade of a nearby tree. She could see him, proud, soaring, glorious. He would always appear to be looking elsewhere, but she knew he was watching her because after, when Lee and Gai left to do their own special Taijutsu training, he would stay behind and help her. He always did, didn't he? Always.

But they all turned out to be dreams.

_List-en to the mock-ing-bird..._

AN: This is actually the second version. I deleated the first version, because I felt that it was not good enough. There were reviews (for the old one) requesting a sequal (this was originally a one-shot). Please review if you enjoyed reading this and want me to continue the story. Once I hit a certain number of reivews, I promise I'll update this and make it an actual story.

Neji's dead, but I can make him come alive again! YOSH! THE POWER OF THE KEYBOARD IS AT MY FINGERTIPS!! Anyways, please, please review because I sacrificed a lot of time and thought for this one.

For plot and story develpment purposes, I must have an alternate pairing. Should Tenten go with...Kiba? Shino? Naruto? Sasuke? Choji? Lee? Shikmaru?  
You guys tell me. I think I can make them work...


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